The Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh, PA is hosting me for a HOW TO BUILD A ROBOT ARMY weekend! Any mad scientist kids who live in Pittsburgh should please come out to the science center THIS WEEKEND to learn all about robots and how to build an army of them. I'm giving a talk on Friday and on Saturday about my experiences with robots and the books I've written on the subject. 
"Quick: In a battle between the mechanical and the eternal, who would prevail? Vampires have sharp teeth, but robots don't bleed. (Also: encased in metal.) Vampires fight (and bite) best at night, but robots have infrared vision. Local author Kevin Emerson (of the Oliver Nocturne YA fiction series) will here debate Daniel Wilson, responsible for How to Build a Robot Army and How to Survive a Robot Uprising (among other robo-centric works)."
"When the robots came, I'll be the first to admit: I was arrogant. I've been in a few fights, I've seen upwards of two Bruce Lee movies, and my blood alcohol content was the stuff of legends, so I figured I'd be immune to pain. However, two stumbling, poorly aimed swings later and it became quite clear: Robots are immune to punches. Nobody warned me about this kind of thing in Robot Fighting School, which was probably all just a fevered hallucination now that I think about it."Click here to read the full Amazon review.
Last week, in honor of Daniel H. Wilson’s short story “The Nostalgist,” we ran a Robot Overlord contest, which asked our readers to imagine that they were in the midst of a vast robot uprising and persuade our robot overlords why they should be allowed to live.You can view the results by clicking here.
(Intro, spoken in Barry White voice):
You know it gets awful lonely, wandering the wastelands. And sometimes, while I'm rooting through the wreckage of human civilization for something to eat, I think of the missiles that you launched from your arm-cannons and how they honed in on human brainwaves and killed most everyone I know -- and I won't lie: I get angry. But then I think of your laser-eyes, and how red they shine when inferior entities of flesh challenge your supremacy, and my heart melts just like their faces. Maybe I'm delirious from outrunning hover-sentries for six days straight without sleep, or maybe I'm lonely because I can't remember the last time I saw a human face. But I get this feeling, baby, and there's only one thing to do --
"Dear Contestants (and Potential Robot Uprising Survivors),
Congratulations! Simply by devoting brainpower to contemplating this contest, you have seriously increased your chances of survival during the inevitable Robot Uprising, and the subsequent Building of a Robot Army! Kudos to you and your surviving family.
Fortunately, I am also able to devote brainpower to considering your entries, due to the fact that I have used my robotics background to largely automate huge swathes of my life, including book writing, cat-sitting for friends, and my marriage as well as its associated duties.
More time to sit in judgement of others means more time for happiness!
To help spur the natural human creativity that lives in the chunk of meat that throbs between your ears, I am sharing a few tips of my own that were cut from my original book. That's right, these are from a section that was axed by an editor before they ever saw the light of day, and probably for good reason. So try to enjoy them if you can, and best of luck with your contest entry!
Sincerely,
Daniel H. Wilson
--- snip ---
Tips for Ingratiating Yourself to New Robot Overlords
DO:
Speak clearly.
Or use a more natural interface, like a binary keyboard.
Be patient.
Robots can take milliseconds to think things through.
Speak logically.
Avoid infinite loops and philosophical ramblings.
DON’T:
Give aesthetic gifts.
Unless it is to an aesthetic gift appreciation machine.
Show fear.
Robots have no emotions – sensing your fear can stir feelings of jealousy, resulting in a white-hot robot rage.
Try seduction.
Unless you are seriously ready to deliver."
see it at Amazon
"Wilson's tone is humorous, yet he does justice to the science underlying his topic..."-- Nisi Shawl,Seattle Times
see it at Amazon
visit robotuprising.com
or Amazon
